tales for dreamers: the very important job of the head of security at the department store

Lewis is the designated Head of Security for the department store, although the title is a little misleading because he is the only real employee with the Department of Security, if you didn’t count all the security cameras, that is.

It’s a one-stuffie show, and he’s been with the store ever since it opened so many years ago that people have forgotten a time when the storefront did not exist.

Very few people notice him though, perched as he is in a tiny unobtrusive corner, which is the point really because no one likes knowing that they’re being watched. People are strange that way, Lewis has come to realize in all his time as the Head of Security there.

You’d think that his job is to watch for shoplifters and troublemakers, but ask him and he’ll tell you that there have been very few instances of theft in the store.

The real trouble, he says with a very solemn expression on his face, tends to come from the people who don’t know the difference between what they want and what they need.

Sometimes they buy too many things from the store and then go home and find their bags are full of stuff they didn’t need, and they tend to blame the enticing layout of the store or the friendly cashier for their lack of discernment.

Lewis thinks he ought to be placed at the entrance to the store where he could welcome customers and remind them to be mindful while they’re shopping. It would save them a lot of heartache, he reasons.

But the store managers don’t agree with him, he shrugs. And with good reason, he admits.

So now what Lewis does is when he sees people walking out with too many bags to count, he whispers to them, “Thank you for shopping with us. Remember you can always come back and return whatever you don’t need. Have a great day!”